I caught that movie The Heartbreak Kid last night. Funny, with a few laugh out loud moments, but was very impressed with the use of an expression I've previously only heard from one source. About 10 years ago, during a poker game - during which any variety of profanity is yelled (the more creative the better) - Filthy started refering to whoever pissed him off as a "sh*t f*ck" (or possible "sh*tf*ck".....I'm not sure if it is one or two words). Since then, those of us gathered at the game have used it on occasion, though not as often as Filthy himself.....BUT I've never heard anyone else use it (and just why didn't such a classy swear like that catch on outside our poker games?!?! It baffles the mind) in person or in the media/film/books...until now. It was spoken a few times during this film. Color me impressed.

I just ordered a bunch of stuff from the states. Total cost: 137 bucks US....or 135 canadian dollars!! Take that*!!!





*that "take that" wasn't really aimed at anyone specific....just a general shout out in pleasure at having the loonie at such a high.

I think I just came up with a great idea for a t-shirt....if this was actually 22 years ago:
"SIMON SAYS RELAX"



Clever, eh?

OK, I kind of took a break for a bit. I ended my summer job with a double shot of live Wilco, and then enjoyed 10 days off before heading back to school. During those 10 days, I didn't go near a computer and actually took time off from anything that could have been work related. And then school started. Nothing new there - same courses, but with slightly different kids.

Anyways, I promise to start writing again - I just have to wait for something interesting to happen.

I'll leave you with a bit of wisdom(?!?!) as told to me by a normally smart grade 9 student (the kids were telling me (and I can't remember why) about what color they have their bedrooms painted).

Me: "I'd like to paint my bedroom completely black...just like my soul...so that I could get a great sleep and not allow any intruding light in."
Grade 9 student (calmly): "That's what black people have to do."
Me: "HUH!?!?"
Grade 9 student (dead serious): "That way they can cry themselves to sleep at night."

Ya, after I picked my jaw off the ground, I had to leave the room 'cause I was laughing so hard. I have no idea what she meant, or even if we were having the same conversation.....just puzzling.

Drivin' down to cowtown as soon as I slip out of work to see WILCO tonight...then back to e-town tomorrow to see them again. Yup, I do luv me some music!

I know I've spoken on this before, but I'm still enthralled, so here goes.

Before meeting friends at the Dog yesterday for a quick after work pint, I grabbed a donair at that place next to the Funky Pickle....can't remember the name (i think it's been three different variations of the same place since it opened....quite possibly at one point "King Donair" but I don't remember any elections...though I guess Kings aren't elected so that one pretty much fell flat, eh?). They have three sizes and I ordered the one in the middle and it was still freakin' HUGE! Seriously, it was as big as a NERF football, and not the small, palm-sized one, but the full sized, could-use-it-in-the-NFL one. To get a sense of the scope of this thing, take two ventriloquist dummy heads and stack them on top of each other...now picture them crammed with donair fixin's and sauce and wrapped in a warm, soft pita....PICTURE IT!!!.
Anyways, the things are obscenely gigantic. As I strolled the 15 feet from Donair to Dog, I'm sure a couple of high school girls pointed and giggled...but then again, when do they not point and giggle?

So there you have it. That's it for today. Just thought you'd like to know.

Is anybody still reading this stuff?

Watching old 80's videos on youtube. The problem is that I don't have speakers on my computer, so I'm dependant on SonicFM to provide the accompanying soundtrack to these "classic" (..cough..ha ha..cough) videos. You haven't lived until you've seen Mitsou dancing around to Nine Inch Nails - bye bye mon cowboy indeed.
Anyways, I pulled up the video for "Romantic Traffic" and I have to say that despite the kinked hair (which actually looks pretty cool), the really really really bad fashion, and the cartoon-like whorish make-up, the girl in the Spoons is a super cutey. Granted, she'd probably be super old now, but then again, so am I, so whatever. If I met her, do you think she'd be impressed with my nickname....you know....spoonman...seeing as how she was in The Spoons....get it?!?

Here's a great list of fake bands that I found rather amusing....I was a HUGE Bloom County fan back in the day...but I think Spinal Tap deserves to be number one. Hey, I like muppets just as much as the next kid, but Nigel and the boys....I mean c'mon. How often to you find yourself throwing an Animal quote into a conversation? BUT I'll bet you recognize "These go to eleven" or "How much more black could it be*" or "What's wrong with bein' sexy?".

Anyways, this brings about my book review for today. Mingering Mike: The Amazing Career of an Imaginary Soul Superstar by Dori Hader. The premise of the book is that Hader finds a box of records created by a soul singer by the name of Mingering Mike - the only problem being that he never heard of Mike. Turns out all the albums - about 50 released in 10 years - are all fake, but elaborately created by the "fake" superstar. The story itself is interesting, but a lot of the homemade album covers (complete with liner notes and song track listing and multi-colored illustrations) are presented throughout which makes for a rather exhausting but rewarding read. The creativity that went into creating this book - though I hesitate to label it just a book since it is more like an elaborate art project - is very impressive. If you dig music and want to try something different from the usual criticisms/studies and biographies, you might want to pick this entity up.



*and the answer is none....none more black.

There are many famous musical outros (the ass end of the song) including Skynyrd's Freebird, G'n'Rs November Rain and, of course, Layla by Derek & The Dominoes - but for my money, one of the greatest outros has to be Alive by Pearl Jam.....and not just the studio version off of "TEN", but anyone one of the live tracks from any of the one-hundred-and-four-or-so bootlegs they put out.

Yup - I'm pretty bored at work today!!

I have a little running joke with my students. Whenever I ask them a question about music - usually pertaining to whatever they are currently listening to, I wait until they answer, and then I yell, "WRONG!! THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS LED ZEPPELIN!!" in their faces. Oh, they do love that one - it never gets old.

Anyways, I share this tidbit of info with you not because I'm sure you are hungry for a glimpse into my classroom (and all the shenanigans it involves) but because I want you to understand that I really love LedZep. I consider the first four Zeppelin albums to form a holy trinity (plus one) that defines the word "rock". I could go on and on about their greatness...and run into me one night after a few pints and I'm sure I will....but that would take much too long.

To whole point of this is that I just read a bit of gossip that the three remaining members (along with the son of the departed fourth) may reform under the LZ banner and tour in the next year.
You'd think I'd blow the front of my faded jeans out at this news, but I'm actually not all that excited. While I would sell my mother (and your mother, and anyone elses moms) to see the mighty Zeppelin in their day, I just can't get pumped up about this tour, and I know why. After the band split and went their seperate ways, their resulting solo material has left a lot to be desired. While I own all the LZ albums on CD (boxset and individual entities (even the japanese reprints that recreate the original album work) and vinyl, I don't have a single bit of their post-LZ output. No Firm, no Page&Plant, etc. In fact, I find solo Plant to be a bit taxing whenever it comes up on a classic rock station. I guess the passage of time and substandard material has tainted my enthusiasm for this reunion - which wasn't the case when I caught The Who last fall...they still rock. Of course, after having said all this, I'd probably still go see the ol' boys if they make it to Alberta.

THe headline for news on canoe.ca screamed NASA Lets Astronauts Fly Drunk.
I have a real problem with drunk drivers, but I read this and I'm thinking ah, no big deal. Really, what are they going to run into on their way into outerspace? I'm guessing they probably won't hit a limo full of graduating kids thus ending their young lives before they actually have a chance to taste adulthood (the hallmark of a tragedy). The worst they are going to do is accidentally hit the moon, and it's still pretty big and probably easy to avoid by even the most vodka-soaked cosmonaut.

With all the Harry Potter mania that's been at terror alert RED because of the release of the movie and the last book, I've been able to use my classic shit-disturbing line that I broke out when the Lord of the Rings movies were all the rage.
Whenever someone asks if I'm into Harry Potter (or Lord of the Rings), I just shrug and calmly say, "No, I don't really like science fiction."

HOO HA!!! Ya, that really sets people off. If you borrow this line, get ready for a not-so-magical shitstorm rant from one of the disciples of Harry. It usuallys starts with mouth-frothing stuttering and blinking eyes fluttering in disbelief, then after they organize their thoughts, you'll get a detailed explanation on the differences between FANTASY and SCIENCE FICTION. Now here's what you do...let them go on and on for a bit, just politely nodding every now and then so that they think you're actually listening, and then when they are done and winding down and catching their breath, innocently ask, "If Harry Potter isn't science fiction, then why is there a robot* in it?" Now the real fun begins.





*in place of "robot", feel free to substitute "wookie" or "vulcan" or "light sabre" or "rocket ship" or "horny space gremlin" or "a silver guy who flies around on a surfboard"

Everyone is raving about the new Cormac McCarthy novel, "The Road". Even Oprah has given her stamp of approval thus releasing the masses to consume it in quantity.
I can't comment on it 'cause I haven't read it yet - but I did finish his previous novel, "No Country For Old Men" which I enjoyed. I picked it when I heard the Coen brothers just completed filming it - not sure when the movie comes out. Anyways, the story and characters are VERY reminiscent of what you'd find in a lesser Elmore Leonard novel, but even substandard Dutch is better than most of what is found in the crime genre.
BUT(!!) I do have one bone to pick with the author....McCarthy is one of those writers who doesn't use quotation marks. I don't know why, but I really find this annoying. It's not like the story or narrative suffers because of this - the tale unfolds as it would with a bunch of "'s surrounding all dialogue - but I just get distracted by the constant nagging in the back of my head with the question of WHY. Why does the writer feel that they don't have to bother with a convention/syntax that has been accepted and practiced by...well, nearly everyone...WHY!?!? Does he use a typewriter and there is something gross on the quote/comma key? Before he sends off his manuscript to his publisher, does he have to pay to have it printed, and does the printer charge extra for some keys? Perhaps the letter "X" also costs more and the novel is void of X's but I didn't notice - it's not like the characters were hanging out in adult movie houses.
Anyways, this is something I accept and realize I have to deal with in my own way.
Oh, and Charlie Huston also does this (no use of quotation marks).

I previously mentioned how I loved the trend of soundtracks for movies being artist based/specific. The two examples I used were from animated movies: "Over the Hedge" (with most songs by Ben Folds being written for the movie) and "Open Season" utilizing Paul Westerberg for film specific tracks.
Add another one to the list.
The soundtrack for the comedy "Knocked Up" is filled with tracks by Loudon Wainwright. The album is great - even if you didn't get a chance to see the movie (and you should....it's very funny) you can still enjoy the music.
Here's the strange or weird part....if you are looking to buy it, you'd think it would be titled something like "Soundtrack to 'Knocked Up" or "Knocked Up Soundtrack", but you'd be wrong...DEAD WRONG. For some reason, the album is actually called "Strange Weirdos". Hmmm.....

I'm ga ga over Spoon's new LP*



Oh yes, I'm that clever.





*buy it on vinyl and get free digital download.....good job boys.